Chapter 34 – What Next?

Chapter 34 – What Next? (I have two hips, you know…)

What Next?

Wait… There Is More – My recovery was remarkably fast. There was an unintended consequence of my rapid healing: I could now sense and perceive other body pains which had been masked by the surgery pain and the constant arthritic hip pain. The pain that now vaulted to the forefront was that from my ‘good’ hip.

Indiana Jones and the Hip of Doom – I now noticed that my ‘good’ hip was frequently sore and feeling like a groin pull. Well, much like an Indiana Jones movie where his plane crashes over the Himalayas, then he rides on an inflatable boat and ride down the slopes into a raging river, he then falls into a crocodile-infested river only to reach the shores and find thousands of scorpions to escaping the shore to find the next danger and a danger after that… It is sort of like my hip one adventure seemingly is over, and hip two’s adventure begins. My bad hip has been successfully operated upon only now to find that my ‘good’ hip may require surgery as well.

The ‘Scar’let Letter – At my one year follow-up visit, I commented to my orthopod that my wife thought the scar was great and had suggested that he tattoo his name to his work of art. He casually mentioned that men often feel that way, but women don’t. They don’t like having to wear their scar, even though that few, if any, other people will ever see it.

“Feels Like You Dropped Your Roll Of $100 Bills” At the one year follow-up, my hip was mostly healed, but I could still ‘feel’ where the hip replaced. It was akin to feeling a very slim wallet in a pair of jeans. When my physician asked me how I was feeling I said to him, “Feels like you dropped your roll of $100 bills in there.” To which he responded, “I wondered where that went.”

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”
Oscar Wilde

Do You Want An Experience? If you want to experience the full range of my hip replacement surgery saga, send me your address and I will have my mother-in-law stay with you for a week.

Are You Experienced? If you have had your hip replaced, drop me a note.

Hip Tip – Your Hip Pain Is Not Going To Get Better: Just in case you are a slow learner, like me, I will mention this one last time. Take actions sooner, rather than later. Any non-surgical treatments are only temporarily making your hip feel better, but once your hip is arthritic and your cartilage is gone, hip replacement surgery is the best option for 99% of all people.

Alrighty… that concludes Chapter 34.