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Hip Replacement Surgery Tip #77: Post Surgery Issues – Moron Or Hand Of God?

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So… for the first few days after arriving home from hip replacement surgery, well, I was still a bit spacey (not unusual).

lost in the fridge

I hobbled on crutches to the fridge and was looking for relish. Couldn’t see, couldn’t find it. It just wasn’t there. I closed the fridge door and then my wife told me to sit down and then asked what I was trying to find. “Never mind,” I said. The burger would be fine without it. My wife persisted and I finally said, “Relish.”

She opened the fridge door and, on the second shelf, towards the back, she immediately pulled out the squeeze bottle. She just looked at me and ‘joked’ that, “The meds are still wearing off.” Hmm, I guess I was just a moron.

A few days later my wife was looking in the ‘junk’ drawer in the kitchen. She was searching for a cutting blade to open a box we received. She asked me if I had taken the blade as it wasn’t there. I said, “No.”  I was on the couch with legs lifted and still icing my hip, so I really couldn’t help look for it.

The next morning my wife opens the same drawer, and, lo and behold, the blade is laying right on top of a pile of pens. My wife turns to me and asks, “Did you put that there?”

“Nope,” I replied.

My wife says, “Well, how did it get there? It must have been Aunt Nina (deceased). She must have found it for me.”

Now I may have been greatly limited in my mobility and judgement, but I deduced it was just like the relish – it was there but she couldn’t see it.

She emphatically proclaimed, “I would have seen it! It wasn’t there yesterday!”

Rather than fight the battle, I just agreed.

Hand of God

I may have had post surgery blues, but I was still smart enough to realize that I was a moron, and my wife had been blessed by the hand of God.

Well… maybe it was God, or I was just spacey, but the same pre-surgery truism also exists after surgery, and that is…

moron

 

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